Change

I'm feeling all sorts of things today. I guess I'll start with the biggest news. My littlest sister got engaged tonight! I'm so happy for her! But it's got me thinking about how much life has changed in such a short time. It seems like yesterday we were all living under the same roof and fighting about who got to sit where, who stole my shirt, who made that mess, you know...a loving family. Now we're all growing up. I'm a Mom, my Sis got married last year and now my Youngest Sis is going to be married in just a few months. Before we know it, my brother will be leaving on a mission! I'm sure my parents feel like they were tossed through a whirlwind as their nest empties. My hope is that the changes will bring us closer. Being the first one to leave the house/state has its ups and downs. I love living here and being around Love's family, exploring my independence, creating my own future...but I miss out on the small and big moments of my sibling's lives. My daughter will not know them as well as she knows her other aunts and uncles here in Utah...and that's hard for me...but it's definitely something to work on. It's a balancing act, living far away, but I'm glad I have a strong family and that I have a husband who tries to take me to see them as often as he can.

Another thing on my mind is how proud I am of Love. Today he decided he's going to go to college. I feel very excited for him and this opportunity...and very grateful as he wants to take this step, not only for himself, but for me and Zoe. I'm glad to be able to support him in this and it's actually got me thinking of going back to school. But that's a discussion for another day.

I'm also worried lately about Zoe. She's having a hard time with sleep during the day when she's anywhere but home. This worries me because sleep is so important for brain development, temperment, and good eating patterns. I'm conflicted because I'm trying to teach her to self-soothe, to stick to a flexible routine, to trust that I will come get her after naps and after work. However, the only way she'll take good naps during the week is when my Mother-in-Law holds her. My conflict is, do I let her be held so she can get good sleep? Or do I try to keep encouraging naps in her own bed- while risking her not sleeping well? The problem is, she sleeps in her crib fine at home...so I don't know how to teach her to do it elsewhere. I don't know...I'm just having trouble with this one. She's finally made peace with her car seat, though. See her pictured here all decked out in Red Sox gear:



Lastly, I'm excited. Tomorrow we're doing the walk-through on our house. I get to go inspect every nook and cranny and see it completed for the first time. I can't wait to be a homeowner, get out of apartment living, have a place of my own where I can create and decorate and really feel like it's mine. We haven't had anything like this since we got married and I'm just thrilled to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. If all goes well, we're scheduled to close on November 3rd. The not so fun part is trying to pack, move, and clean...all with a baby. It was hard enough without having to worry about a little one! I hope it goes well. I hope she adjusts well to our new home. Only time will tell.

Wish us luck tomorrow!