As this year nears it's end I find myself going through a life change I never
thought I would have to experience. I am a judge's signature away from being
divorced. Shockingly, I am ok. It was a long road to get to where I am with
it, but I'm finding more and more that this is simply life happening. I find
myself working back towards my roots and feeling the need to remember who I am.
I miss the artistic side of me that has been dormant so long, I miss pressing
forward, growing and achieving things in life. I feel like my only
accomplishment the last few years is having and raising my kids. While that is
an admirable thing, and something I am truly grateful for, I did the one thing I
never wanted to do...I lost myself to my kids. It's nobody's fault but mine.
This major change has awakened in me a need to be better than I am. I want to
leave a larger legacy behind than my kids' achievements. I have a lot of
plans...and I am getting excited about them. My girls are doing well. It has
been an adjustment, but they both know they are loved by both of their parents-
who are working together as much as possible to continue to raise them. Doing
things on my own isn't an easy thing. I have a lot of decisions to make, things
to figure out, and a new future to plan. It's a lot to take on. At the same
time, it's a chance to start fresh...figure out what I want out of my life and
go for it. I am setting some goals for myself that I will share here in another
post. As far as my marriage...we loved each other, had a lot of good years
together, we helped to give life to two beautiful girls, but now our story as a
couple is over. Time to move forward, break the silence on this blog, dump all
the excuses I've used the last couple years, and start getting on with my
life.
(I just realized as I moved this post over, that I posted it on our 7 year anniversary)
