Change

As this year nears it's end I find myself going through a life change I never thought I would have to experience. I am a judge's signature away from being divorced. Shockingly, I am ok. It was a long road to get to where I am with it, but I'm finding more and more that this is simply life happening. I find myself working back towards my roots and feeling the need to remember who I am. I miss the artistic side of me that has been dormant so long, I miss pressing forward, growing and achieving things in life. I feel like my only accomplishment the last few years is having and raising my kids. While that is an admirable thing, and something I am truly grateful for, I did the one thing I never wanted to do...I lost myself to my kids. It's nobody's fault but mine. This major change has awakened in me a need to be better than I am. I want to leave a larger legacy behind than my kids' achievements. I have a lot of plans...and I am getting excited about them. My girls are doing well. It has been an adjustment, but they both know they are loved by both of their parents- who are working together as much as possible to continue to raise them. Doing things on my own isn't an easy thing. I have a lot of decisions to make, things to figure out, and a new future to plan. It's a lot to take on. At the same time, it's a chance to start fresh...figure out what I want out of my life and go for it. I am setting some goals for myself that I will share here in another post. As far as my marriage...we loved each other, had a lot of good years together, we helped to give life to two beautiful girls, but now our story as a couple is over. Time to move forward, break the silence on this blog, dump all the excuses I've used the last couple years, and start getting on with my life.

(I just realized as I moved this post over, that I posted it on our 7 year anniversary)