Five Minute Friday: Goodbye

Time for Five Minute Friday, friends.  Please click over to the Gypsy Mama for rules and to join in.

Today's Prompt: GOODBYE

Go.

They sit silently in the car.  Itching to find something to say, knowing that if they open their mouths all that will come out is tears.  Their hands intertwined stubbornly, not wanting to let go.  The car keeps moving them closer to their destination.  Fingers squeeze tighter with every mile.

They park and he opens her door.  Their eyes meet and they exchange wan smiles.  She clings to him in an unexpected hug.  He melts into her.  Eventually they pull apart.  Time continues ticking.

They unload the car and walk tentatively towards the open, automatic door.  They discuss schedules and plans.  They get checked in and move towards the gate.  He stops and meets her eyes.  They are welled up with tears that spill over as she catches his glance.  His eyes sting as he takes her into his arms.  They cry together through hug-muffled I love yous and prayers for safety. 

Then he meets the eyes of his children.  Red with tears they all tackle him in one giant hug.  He wonders how much they will have grown before he sees them again.  He kisses each one and gives them words of advice and reassurance as he embraces them. 

He takes his family in his arms one more time.  With strenuous effort he releases them, kisses his wife, and walks heavily toward security.

She watches him until she can't see him anymore- catching one last glimpse of him in his combat uniform.  She waves as her heart crumbles and walks away with her kids.  Gathering up her well of strength, patience and love to get her through until they meet again.

Stop.

For my friends who have to do this today, and for all the members of the military and their families who make this sacrifice more times than anyone should have to.  Thank you for your service to our country.  My love and prayers go out to you all. 

Teetering

I find it difficult to blog lately.  Not just because I've been dealing with flooding under my brand new floor, finishing projects, work and all the normal stuff, but also just because I don't really feel like I know what to write about.  So, please excuse my jumbled thoughts.

Lately I've felt a sort of disconnect from my life.  I feel so off balance.  I know this is partly because the projects on our house have imposed on our normal routine.  Also, I haven't focused on my health as much lately.  Or my spirituality.  I guess that's the problem.  I'm not focused. 

I'm working toward a goal of getting all these little house projects finished.  And while they are important, and will be nice, they are eating up time I would have spent working on my goals.

I spend my days ticking off boxes on endless to do lists.  While this does give me a sense of accomplishment, and I have been working hard, it leaves me feeling like I haven't done anything real.  At least nothing that will matter in the grand scheme of things. 

I feel a little bit empty and not very happy.  It doesn't help that I feel terrible about all the TV my kids watched while we were redoing the house.  Or that I haven't been taking care of myself the way I want to.

Today I spent some time playing with my girls.  I only got half the things done I wanted to, but I felt a little better for having spent some meaningful time with my children.  I really focused on keeping a kind tone and it was amazing the difference we felt in our home today.

Which made me think that the direction I need to take is to go back to the basic important things in my life.

I feel it's time to prioritize again.  I need to figure out what goal I want to focus on right now and set aside time for it.  I need to remember to keep my Heavenly Father as a close friend in my life.  I need to spend real, quality time with my family.  I REALLY need to spend some quality time on me.

It seems sort of silly to write about my struggles to find balance and peace in my life on this blog.  But I guess that is part of the journey to finding equipoise.  I know that a perfect state of balance is impossible.  I also know that I've been a lot closer before than I am now.  It's a work in progress.

I guess I just needed to vent...and come up with a plan.  And now I have.  So, thank you for that.  I'd like another favor though.  Tell me, what do you do when you feel disconnected or unbalanced??