Over 15 years ago I started blogging hoping to gain back parts of me I felt I had lost- my creativity. I wanted to document my journey into "equipoise" or "a state of balance" between life (work, chores, chaos), love (marriage), motherhood (back then, my quest towards it) and creativity (music, writing, etc).
In April 2006 my husband and I decided it was time to start trying to conceive. Initially, we were very excited and full of hope as we began that journey. It didn't take long to realize we weren't part of the "norm". My blog began almost at the same time we started seeing a fertility specialist. Over the next year and a half I blogged about my infertility journey. I blogged about my struggle to balance the obsession I had with creating a child with everything else in my life. I cried, complained, updated, screamed, got angry and I wrote about it. All of it. Sometimes in far too much detail. What came of all this blogging?
HOPE.
In blogging I found a community of people who were going through the same or worse issues as me. I learned their lingo, their stories and gained more love and support than I could ever have imagined from people I had never met.
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| photo taken by somethewiser |
Now I feel like my blog is what I intended it to be: a documented journey to equipoise.
Or more simply: life.
It’s been a while since I posted anything here because life got in the way. Also, social media. I’m eager to get back to it.
I believe life is about finding balance between everything you want, need and have to do. It's finding time to do the things you love, while still completing your everyday tasks. It's parenting your children, while not losing yourself. It's making time for your relationships, while juggling everything else.
Most of the time I feel off balance. I focus too much on the responsibilities and worries of the future and neglect the present moment. I plan so much that spontaneous opportunities for joy are often lost. I want to enjoy my life as it is RIGHT NOW. I also know it's important to improve, to plan, and to worry (sometimes). I write about everything from motherhood to relationships and marriage, exercise and health to thoughts, creativity to frustrations and more.
Thank you for joining me on my journey to finding equipoise.
